August Reading

 I read some really good books in August, which cannot be said of every month. I would definitely revisit a few of these in the future, and am hoping that my "good book" streak does not end come September.

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I read this book in two days, partially because it's not very long, but mostly because it is just so good. The format is a little different - short chapters that describe "Dream House as ...", and then go into that specific style. The plot circulates the relationship between the author and "the woman in the Dream House", bringing to light an abusive and manipulative relationship between two women. Even though I may be a little biased because Machado lives in West Philly with her wife, this is truly one of a kind.

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Though I mentioned this book before, I just completed it over the past month. It reads beautifully and the ending comes to a lovely conclusion. Based off true events, I learned about a part of pre-WWII that I'd never known before, and in the eyes of a fifteen year old girl, the events play differently than they would as a series of facts. I can see myself returning to this story in the future as well.

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I began too many race-related texts at once, but this is the first I completed. I really liked the memoir feel of this, as it made it a little bit easier to read than books that are jam packed with facts and figures. It is concise and informative, and great to read to get yourself thinking. The author mainly writes about England, but the themes apply to the US just the same.

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Even knowing how this mystery is solved, I would read this book again. It's dark and twisty and everything you expect to have from Gillian Flynn. Libby Day, the unlikable protagonist, is the only survivor of a slaughter (can it be a slaughter if it's only 3 people?) from when she was young. Now in present day, she is trying to firm up what actually happened that night. The chapters jump around in time and perspective, and I flew through it. I also love how a majority of the story takes place in 1985 Kansas.

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This is clearly geared towards young, teenage boys, as the narrator is that of a 6th grader. I had heard about the series due to its popularity and movie, and thought it would be worth checking out. The story held up, but at this point in my life, I feel like there are so many other fantasy novels that better hold my attention. I really like the Greek mythology angle and maybe would have gotten more out of this if I had read it rather than listened to the audiobook.

The Bathroom Should Be Inviting

 

My little bathroom in my tiny apartment has two different overhead lights, and both are super unflattering. One has a weird yellow tone reminiscent of an old, last-resort motel, and the other is too white like a corporate building. Generally, the vibe is yet another reminder of how necessary a toilet/shower/sink are instead of feeling like a decorated room that matches the rest of our home. To change it into a space that didn't need to be covered up as much as possible, I added a few simple things that (warning: getting punny here) elevated the crap out of it.

Dried flowers in a bud vase gave the otherwise bland walls some color. The petals here gave the room life in a space that otherwise is full of inorganic elements (ie. soap, ceramics, cloth). I have been purchasing fresh flowers from Trader Joe's on my biweekly visits, and subsequently drying my favorites to add to the bathroom. Also, adding gifted flowers from special occasions allows me to appreciate the thoughtfulness of loved ones for much longer than the flowers can survive in a wet vase.

Baskets once were the bane of my existence. I had too many in awkwardly small sizes, bulky shapes, or materials that would fall apart. Yet, I couldn't just give away handmade, sentimental baskets to Goodwill. Once I realized that they could be used in the bathroom, I have now added four into a 5' space. Hiding their contents, the baskets match but are different enough to look interesting. They also serve as a perfect catch all for menstruation products, first aid, and lotions. 

Magazines and reading material placed in said baskets really elevated the welcome feeling of my bathroom. One of my favorite cold opens on Parks and Rec is when Anne takes Leslie through a quick tour of Tom's house. She notes how it is wrought with amenities. Clearly, this has stuck with me. I have magazines, a candle (with prettily packaged matches), lotion, and an artsy soap dish. I know I'm far from a Tom Haverford approved bathroom, but it's a start.

New Discoveries

Recently, I have made some new discoveries. They're new to me -- not the world. I have a good 2-10 year lag behind everyone else. So that means if you are not aware of the beauty, convenience, and enjoyment of the following, get with it. I finally got with it, and am better for it.

Using my credit union's spending tracker

Why have I been spending an incalculable amount of time adding up my spending, categorizing it, comparing various months, seasons, years? There is a little place to click and have it given straight to me, broken down into pie charts with different colors. It dates back 4 years, so I can properly over-investigate and return to 2017 whenever I want to.

 
Wearing blue light glasses

I had a pink eye scare. Turns out, my cornea was just super dry from spending a long ass time on my laptop and phone, while working from home and reading books off the Libby app. My laptop cannot change to a warmer-colored background, so I invested $2 on American Eagle sale glasses. They seem to be working, as now I only feel abstract discomforts.

 
Using a mousepad

In the office, I use a pad of paper underneath my mouse. The top page routinely becomes ripped and the edges turned up, stopping the mouse as I slide it along. After working from home, dog fur lodged itself into the sensor on the mouse, and I would go fishing for it with a sharpened pencil. Now, I have a wonderful little (actual) mousepad that keeps the fur out of my mouse and is personalized with a family photo. It shows Otis at his most Porg-iest, and never fails to bring a smile to my face.

 
Following online yoga videos

There are oh so many reasons why these are wonderful. I can stay in my house, wear whatever clothes I want (or just not wear any), and only do a portion of the video if that's what I feel like. It is really nice to have the ambiance and supplies at the studio, but setting up my own candles, music, and lighting beforehand really helps get in the stretchy mood.

 
Buying Mike's Harder Lemonades

Available on GoPuff as single pints for $1.99, they are tasty and cheap. As opposed to the original, I can achieve the perfect buzz I'm looking for with just one. And they satisfy my never-ending craving for lemonade.

 
Writing everyday

I almost always have a swirl of thoughts, memories, and fictionalized situations in my head, which means I easily end up overwhelmed and in a quick downward spiral with a tightened chest. In short, I have a lot of anxiety. Instead of waiting to cope with my anxieties when they become undeniable (always too late), doing little things frequently can keep the tide from reaching drowning levels. I thought I wouldn't have enough to write about everyday, much like I always think I won't have enough to talk to my therapist about. I am repeatedly proving myself wrong on both accounts.

July Reading

 I didn't finish a single book in June, further disappointing myself on top of all the other tasks I failed to accomplish. So, I was very proud to have finished three books in July. Even though I'd started them earlier in the year, it felt real good to complete them.

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The beginning was slow reading, with long descriptions and vague references that I had to keep looking up on the internet to decipher. While I consider myself culturally unaware, I think it still would have taken a little searching to figure it all out. Once I resigned myself to reading without fully understanding every sentence, the story read more quickly. About halfway through I began to lose interest. Some plot lines dragged on a bit, and at points the book skipped ahead years within a chapter or two. It seemed like too much detail was given to newer characters without fleshing out the original ones. The ending was also abrupt, but I honestly have no idea how the book could have ended in a different way. With such a long story, eventually it has to just...end.

 

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When it comes to reading Harry Potter, there's only a few groups of people: the super re-readers, the have-read-series-once, the want-to-read-series, and the no-interest. Basically, no need for me to describe it in depth to you. I really liked the Winky and SPEW storyline, especially since it's cut out of the movie. And Cedric's death is given a comical lack of drama -- Harry just hazily sees the curse and, oh, he's dead now. Gotta drag a body.

 

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Though I should have gotten to this before now, reading this in the current climate gives it a horrifying twinge I never would have experienced has I read this back in 2009. The fear of surveillance, exploitation of people of color, and rewriting history to benefit those in power hit differently in a time where trusting government or corporations is simply laughable.

Movies You Don't Need To See

I watched (or attempted) these movies so that you don't have to. Mostly, I did not have high expectations going into them, but after viewing, their poor reviews were verified.

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It's a disaster movie that seems like it's going to go somewhere cool, and then takes a sci-fi turn that just ends up in a weird place that doesn't fit the horror tone of the beginning. Ie. Weird, tall figures are coming for Nicholas Cage, but they end up helping him somehow? I found myself waiting for plot twists that never happened, and with an unsatisfying ending, the whole thing felt like a let down.

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This version of the Peter Pan story has a lot of good characters and visuals, but just misses the mark a bit. Considering there are a bunch of other versions of this story, you could probably have a better movie-watching experience by picking a different one. If you're choosing to watch this for Rooney Mara (like me), it's not so bad. She looks real cute. Garrett Hedlund is also pretty hot.

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Kevin Spacey is not the only reason to skip this sci-fi flick. I found myself watching this only to find out the ending, but then the ending wasn't satisfying either. I watched it as a young teen with a less critical mind, and still felt like I'd wasted two hours of my life.

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This was just really empty in terms of flushing out the story. It's visually pleasing with a good general plot, but could have been about 30 minutes long and accomplished the same thing. It seemed to be trying very hard to connect to the fairy tale -- maybe it would have been better as a separate story.

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This has a bunch of action, but not well done enough to carry the movie. I got bored of it even in my preteen years so I feel like I would just turn it off early now. If it's action you want, just watch the Bourne Trilogy instead.

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As a Sex and the City fan, this movie did no justice to the writing and character development of the rest of the franchise. It's extremely disappointing compared to the first movie, and is like all those other shows that do a 'destination' episode/movie that does nothing but showcase the vacation spot.

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Yes, it is an Oscar nominated film, and probably the only on this list I'd call a 'film'. Personally, I turned it off early. The whole point is that Nell cannot communicate in English and speaks her own language of sounds, but the sounds themselves were extremely distracting and the soul reason I could not finish it. I am sure someone could watch it and get something out of the experience, but I found it hard to watch.

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I watched this as a kid and loved it to the point that when I found it in the Walmart $5 bin, I snatched it up. Rewatching it now, the story is pretty simple and the big a-hah moments are not as exciting as I remember. Also, the writing is really bad. I always think, "how can writing in movies/tv be bad?" and then see something like this. The conversation between characters is forced and the flirting so corny, it was hard to watch. If you like time travel, watch Back to the Future, About Time, or even Prisoner of Azkaban. Really, just something else.

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Aside from the fetishy costumes on the women, the layered fantasies becomes confusing in an otherwise overly simplified movie. Think video game inside a burlesque club inside an insane asylum. Events occurred that I couldn't tell if they were actually happening or not (or actually happening in the layer of imagination that I was watching). If you don't have any hallucinogens on hand, it's better to play a video game than watch this.

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This is fun to watch as a 'bad movie'. The celebrity homes and closets are perfect in the way that virtual apartment tours are fun to look through. There is not much dialogue (or at least not much that matters) but the soundtrack is fun, so this could be perfect to put on during a get together where you plan on talking through large portions of the movie. Otherwise, I would not set an evening aside.

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I love country music and really wanted this to be great, but it just wasn't. It felt soapy, but not fun, helpless and sad rather than thoughtful. Watch A Star is Born or Coalminer's Daughter instead.

Full Distractions

Occasionally I need to get out of my own head with high urgency. Thoughts go around like a spiral staircase to nowhere and leave me feeling dispassionate, unmotivated, and stuck in a loop. In those moments, the usual things I choose to do for enjoyment may not be demanding of my full attention to keep me from continuing in a thought maze. Usually combining a couple at a time, here's some things that help get me through:

• Sporcle quizzes, especially ones about geography
• Reruns of Gilmore Girls, Buffy, Sex and the City, etc.
• Shopping, especially places I've forgotten existed like American Eagle
• Shoe videos of pumps on Saks website
• Attempting intense makeup looks (contouring is HARD)
• Paint by numbers
• Jigsaw puzzles
• Puzzle books, like hidato and easy crosswords
• Video games, even Two Dots on my phone (current obsession)
• Karaoke of old songs (Why are things so complicated, Avril?)

The Good Part of Giving Up

I continually feel that I was misguided by motivational posters in elementary school that shouted "Never Give Up" and "You miss 100% of the shots you do not take" over stock photos of a basketball hoop. This is true to a point, but that point is really important. That point comes when something just isn't suiting your needs anymore.

It's good to give up on something that is optional and no longer brings (or never brought) enjoyment. It's good to give up on something that is a fantasy construction that no longer fits your goals in life. It's especially good to give up on something that is using large amounts of money, time, and other resources and is getting you nowhere and bringing no fun.

Giving up always comes easily to me when it involves a knitting project. The yarn isn't wasted -- you just pull apart the wonky, half-made sweater and roll back up a skein, as if the whole thing never happened. Same with making greeting cards. When I run out of space and can only manage a poorly planned and penned "happy birthd", it is easy to flip over and try again.

Alternately, it is really difficult when something has been important, time consuming, or semi-enjoyable. I found myself writing a daily log because I had done it for so long, it needed doing. I could not imagine a life where I would be unable to reference a specific past date to see what I had worn, what I had done, friends I had talked to. But, I found myself constantly writing "then I wrote in this log for a few hours". Eventually, I realized that spending all that time working to preserve my own history meant taking away a lot of time from actually making a meaningful life.

On another note, sometimes I just have to give up 'trying to do' things. I give up trying to exercise for the day (or week). I give up trying to read dull books. I give up trying to have a productive work day. I give up having a clean house. Those days happen where I think, "I'm too tired and I can't care! I'm going to just sit down for the reset of the day and not work at myself. The fur will be on the floor to clean tomorrow, and that has to be fine." It's exhausting to constantly try to improve ourselves and do all the right things every day. But no one is really watching. We must look inward.

"I really don't think you have that kind of time"

This quote feels appropriate here. Found in Anne Lamott's book Bird by Bird (and in this podcast episode from Gretchen Rubin).